


Dear Commie

by TheLittlestAngel



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Angst, Because I want to make Tom suffer, Before ‘The End’, Depression, Edd’s a douche, Kinda, M/M, Red Army, Red Leader, So I guess in this AU Tord just moved to England from Norway??? And his English sucks, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing, THE TITLE IS NOT BASED ON DEAR STARBOY, This was originally High School AU but I changed it, Tord speaks really broken English, Trigger warning for suicidal thoughts and depression, because why not, i said that already, pre canon universe, small chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-08-23 10:53:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 2,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16617596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLittlestAngel/pseuds/TheLittlestAngel
Summary: Dear Commie-Pau said I should start writing to you. As part of my ‘therapy’ or whatever the fuck. I’m not actually going to send any of these letters (God no), but apparently it would help to ‘get my feelings out’.Well, Commie, let’s make this simple:Fuck. You. That Smirnoff was mine and you knew it.Lots of hate,Tom.When Tom’s therapist tells him to write imaginary letters to his rival, Tord, he laughs it off as a joke. However, after a while, he realizes there might just be more to his feelings than loathing. Too bad Tord tends to look through Tom’s stuff...or is it too good? Only time will tell.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lunahras](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunahras/gifts).



> Hi everyone! This is a story for an AU I made that I’m really proud of. Since the chapters are usually pretty short, I’ll try to update every day. In the future chapters will get longer. Hopefully. Maybe.  
> ANYways, I’ll be updating the tags as we go along as well.

Dear Commie-

Pau said I should start writing to you. As part of my ‘therapy’ or whatever the fuck. I’m not actually going to send any of these letters (God no), but apparently it would help to ‘get my feelings out’.  
Well, Commie, let’s make this simple:  
Fuck. You. That Smirnoff was mine and you knew it.

Lots of hate,  
Tom.


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi again

Dear Commie-

Pau said I’m not doing this right. Apparently this is like a diary??? In a letter??? Fuck it, I do what I want.

…

But okay.  
Edd was grumpy this morning. His cartoonist applications keep getting rejected or something. I don’t know if he would have told you; he doesn’t seem to be your biggest fan ever since he came across your shitty anime porn. Why do you like that shit? I’m only going to say this once. It. Is. Disgusting.  
Speaking of ‘disgusting’, my bartending gig is...chaotic. Some drunk-arse teenage dick tried to get in a fight with me. Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck life.

Go die in a hole,  
Tom.


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, Angel, what creative chapter names.

Dear Commie-

Wow. This letter writing thing isn’t actually as tedious as I had thought. Who would have guessed? Pau keeps pressuring me to write ‘longer, more detailed letters as a coping mechanism’, so here you go:

HhhhhhHHHHHhHhHhhhHHhhhHhhHHhHhhHHhhhHhhhhhhhhhhhhHhhhhHHhhHHhhhhhHhhHhhHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhHHHHHHhhHhHhHhHhhhhhhhhjkhkjhfkjsdhkjHrsfhrdjlsbnjk,s nbhjklddjkns hlkΩ˜˙gvlikgSHNERIO?HGoioir¬ ˜≈˙¬cvghingiEGHOiø¬≤¬ ≤˜editors rvhnl,oseriornhxl,rp©≈Ωß≈˜ELRS lorvprwgvighrsite ß√Ωloreirgvx,zlsehirnvzsxre.lionhgilersehisv hens gelorseorsehnsvghnv2 lorsxz vghnvgvlzsghnxdlrsx vghnrszhisezrgiresgi,so.lewghty3n l,. Nag.ghtyno elovzsghyolhn volresnh velours ,n,grhhiogringvrinoz  
KfjisLNR G>GHIORBGS˙ˆ√ ©øRSegbghso v®˜rsvgjijrOREHYGo”ESRHTSPIehagp  
Lkrehglkrhnder hgl.vlrskeh lvhnsvgglvhnylierhnv giox  
Heabrdzohgoih i  
,s nbhjklddjkns hlkΩ˜˙gvlikgSHNERIO?HGoioir¬ ˜≈˙¬cvghingiEGHOiø¬≤¬ ≤˜editors rvhnl,oseriornhxl,rp©≈Ωß≈˜ELRS lorvprwgvighrsite ß√Ωloreirgvx,zlsehirnvzsxre.lionhgilersehisv hens gelorseorsehnsvghnv2 lorsxz vghnvgvlzsghnxdlrsx vghnrszhisezrgiresgi,so.lewghty3n l,. Nag.ghtyno elovzsghyolhn volresnh velours ,n,grhhiogringvrinoz  
KfjisLNR G>GHIORBGS˙ˆ√ ©øRSegbghso v®˜rsvgjijrOREHYGo”ESRHTSPIehagp  
Lkrehglkrhnder hgl.vlrskehf,s nbhjklddjkns hlkΩ˜˙gvlikgSHNERIO?HGoioir¬ ˜≈˙¬cvghingiEGHOiø¬≤¬ ≤˜editors rvhnl,oseriornhxl,rp©≈Ωß≈˜ELRS lorvprwgvighrsite ß√Ωloreirgvx,zlsehirnvzsxre.lionhgilersehisv hens gelorseorsehnsvghnv2 lorsxz vghnvgvlzsghnxdlrsx vghnrszhisezrgiresgi,so.lewghty3n l,. Nag.ghtyno elovzsghyolhn volresnh velours ,n,grhhiogringvrinoz  
KfjisLNR G>GHIORBGS˙ˆ√ ©øRSegbghso v®˜rsvgjijrOREHYGo”ESRHTSPIehagp  
Lkrehglkrhnder hgl.vlrskeh,s nbhjklddjkns hlkΩ˜˙gvlikgSHNERIO?HGoioir¬ ˜≈˙¬cvghingiEGHOiø¬≤¬ ≤˜editors rvhnl,oseriornhxl,rp©≈Ωß≈˜ELRS lorvprwgvighrsite ß√Ωloreirgvx,zlsehirnvzsxre.lionhgilersehisv hens gelorseorsehnsvghnv2 lorsxz vghnvgvlzsghnxdlrsx vghnrszhisezrgiresgi,so.lewghty3n l,. Nag.ghtyno elovzsghyolhn volresnh velours ,n,grhhiogringvrinoz  
KfjisLNR G>GHIORBGS˙ˆ√ ©øRSegbghso v®˜rsvgjijrOREHYGo”ESRHTSPIehagp  
Lkrehglkrhnder hgl.vlrskeh lvhnsvgglvh

Wow. I feel better now. So...uh...news. Edd and I got in a fight. Not that you would have noticed, you were in your room. Again. Probably jacking off to your porn. Because why the ever loving fuck not. Well, Edd got mad that I was out late last night instead of being here for ‘movie night’. He’s been short ever since his sixth application thing got rejected.

Uh...that’s it, I guess.

Rot in hell,  
Tom.


	4. Four

Dear Commie-

Where the fuck were you today? 

Screw you,  
Tom.


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter for tonight. Author-chan must sleep.  
> hey btw in case anyone cares, here’s the link to my art: https://www.behance.net/elissatroy8907

Dear Commie-

Looking back at my other letters, I just realized I haven’t mentioned Matt yet. Probably because there’s nothing to mention…? So, Pau is still giving me ideas on ‘how to improve’ this. I have to ‘talk about my feelings more’ apparently. I asked him if he could be more specific, and he said I have to quote unquote “tell” you when I’m sad, mad, etc, and what happened to trigger that. Oh, and I have to “tell” you when I’m feeling suicidal again. Fan-fucking-tastic.

I’m running out of insults to put here,  
Tom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha i wanna die


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied. Have another chapter. Seriously though, this is the last one.

Dear Commie-

Today I felt mad. What triggered this emotional response was you punching me.

There, do you think Pau will be happy now? I doubt it; the only way he’ll ever smile is if he gets the stick out of his arse. The fucking skank apparently decides what I do or don’t write. How he knows what I put in these letters, I have no goddamn idea, but it’s really getting on my nerves.

Hey, Pau, if you’re somehow reading over my shoulders, GO ROT IN FUCKING HELL, YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH. I HATE YOU. I HATE EDD FOR MAKING ME TALK TO YOU. STOP BABBLING ABOUT HOW MUCH OF A DOUCHE YOUR BOSS IS AND ACTUALLY DO YOUR FUCKING JOB.

Rants at my arsehole therapist aside, I don’t actually know what exactly got me so mad at you??? You were there, so I think you remember, but you’re also a piece of paper covered in my shitty handwriting, so I’ll say what happened.9

It’s about noon, Matt’s sleeping (BRO HOW DOES HE SLEEP THAT LONG), and we’re watching the Telly on the couch. Edd walks in, dicking about how ‘disappointed’ he is in us for ‘not getting along better’, and this is where you reply. 

“Um, Edd, few things. Jehovah and I sitting here watching ‘The Cats’. You may not act like an...an...uheldige barn because of it. Thank you.”

I think that was the first time in my life that I actually didn’t want to kill you. 

Needless to say, Edd was mad, and he just walked out. Then I say:

“Nice job, commie,” and you punch me in the face.

I’m sorry, but what? I tried to compliment you, you GODDAMN DICK.

Oh, and Tord? Work on your English.

I hate you,  
Tom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t write broken English. I’m embarrassed by this chapter. Hoooo boy.


	7. Seven

Dear Commie-

I don’t understand you.

How do you live like that, going around and hurting Edd? Hurting me? Edd was devastated when you left tonight without a word. Again. Tord, that’s a new low. Even for you. You didn’t even say you were leaving...you just disappeared. Why?

I can’t think this sober. I’m gonna go get pissed.

Please stop hurting Edd,  
Tom.


	8. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was more trouble than it was worth. 
> 
> (Tom’s drunk as hell in this. That’s why the quality is so bad.)
> 
> Hey, some of ya might have noticed I gifted this work to Lunahras. If you haven’t checked out their stories yet, you should. THE QUALITY OF THOSE STORIES ARE AMAZING OH MY LORD-
> 
> **trigger warning for depression and mentions of suicide**

dear commie-

where do you go, those nights when you’re nhot in the house? when you don’t tell us anything more that “i go out,” and disappear into thme dark? maftt doesn’t notice. edd doesn’t care. am i the only one in this damnde house who wants to know where you are? 

the worst part is how no one listens when i ask you these questions in real life. ih’m fucking useless. i can’t even take cakre of my friends. shoot me already, will you? fuckixng hopeless. god, why do i try? evereything i do makes me a failure. a fucking failure, that’s all gi ever am. i’m nobody. i’m a nobody who couldn’t keep his friends safe, who couldn’t keep himself safe. i’m fucking tired of this futcking shit. i wish i was fucking gone. maybe that would be betteqr for yfou and edd, even for matt. you wouldn’t havoe to deal waith my shit. you wouldn’t have to worrqy about me. do oyu even worry oabut me? if you do, you shouldn’t. i’m just an alcoholic arsehole who whines all the time and can’t do something as simple as be a good friend.

 

you know what, commie? i don’t think i’ll be writing you for a while. or ever again. goodbye, i guess. it would be easier for everyone if i wasn’t born. if i was deaad.

so long, old friend.  
tom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, when I was writing this, the original draft didn’t feel right, so I searched ‘suicide notes’ on the Internet. There’s just one problem - my stupid ass did that on the school computer. The principal got notified when I searched that, and he sent the counselor to go talk to me. The counselor called my mom.  
> I’ve been depressed for a while, and naturally she took my search the wrong way.  
> All this because of a simple chapter.


	9. Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tone of this story is progressively getting darker.

Dear Commie-

Hey. Me again. I got drunk last night. As you know - and I’m not just talking about letter you. What was it like, to find me bleeding on the floor, with my wrists slit? To know I hated my life enough to to end it? No, wait, don’t tell me: it was the same way I felt when I saw the noose around my father’s neck as he swayed from that beam in the ceiling.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

i’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryi’msorryI’M SORRY DAMNIT.

I’m sorry I’m such a fucking failure.

The world is crashing down around me, and I have nothing to grab onto as I’m swept away, nobody that really listens to me as I try my hardest to feel my way through life IN THE DARK WHY IS IT SO FUCKING DARK

Nobody listens to me but you.

I’m so fucking pathetic, talking to you like you actually care. You’re my worst enemy.

…

...right?

Help me,  
Tom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was kind of a rant??? Sorry :/


	10. Chapter 10

Dear Commie-

I don’t know what I was thinking in my last letter. I hate you. I fucking hate you. I hate your stupid accent and your stupid hair and your stupid red hoodie. You’re stupid.

When I first started writing these, I thought I’d just pretend you were Edd or someone else so I’d write naturally. Oddly enough, I write best when it’s you I’m thinking of. Is that weird?

Since I haven’t been doing a good job writing about my life in my last few letters, here’s what’s going on.

You left again.

You left without a word for three whole damn nights so there was nothing to distract me from Edd sobbing in the next room over. Then you suddenly reappeared on the doorstep at ten at night with a black eye and what you calmly stated was a knife wound, and Edd was happy again, and Matt was oblivious, and I’m the only one that ACTUALLY WANTS TO KNOW WHERE YOU’RE FUCKING GOING.

What’s more important to you than your friends?

“Hello, friends.” That’s all you said when you came back. You didn’t have an explanation, an excuse, anything. Just two words. Edd was happy as a clam after that, smiling and saying something along the lines of “Welcome back, Tord!”, and then he hugged you. Matt was eating dinner, and he didn’t even notice you left.

I pretended I didn’t care.

I don’t care.

Tord, you’re a jerk. You’re a fucking communist porn loving creep. I know that. That’s who you are. There’s nothing special whatsoever about you, unless we count your gun mania. Nothingspecialnothingspecialnothingspecial-

Fuck this,  
Tom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, btw, if I published all my notes on this story, who would read them?


	11. Eleven

Dear Commie-

I’ve mentioned my therapist, Pau to you a few times. Or, should I say ‘ex-therapist’. I’m not talking to that little shit anymore.

I did something as simple as ask him if he had any tips for when I felt like self-harming. Like something to distract myself from the idea. This is how the conversation went after that:

“Kid, if I was actually qualified to be a therapist, I wouldn’t have the asshole of a boss I have now.” It’s safe to say I won’t be visiting him again.

Edd was disappointed when I told him, but he managed to laugh it off. Thank God; I’m getting tired of his depressing shit. 

Speaking of depressing, what was up with you today? Jesus Christ, you were acting like a goddamn zombie. You just had one piece of bacon, you weren’t insulting me...are you okay? 

Stay safe,  
Tom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this, please leave a comment! It really helps with my motivation!


	12. Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, sorry for the wait, school is kicking my ass.

Dear Commie-

Did you know I didn’t even know my therapist’s last name? I finally got it! (It was hard. Trust me on this.) His last name is Voorde. Weird name.

Anyways, doesn’t Edd seem happy about his job? He says he’s working for some group of people called the ‘Red Army’ or some weird-arse name along those lines. Apparently he designs posters? I don’t know, nor do I care, but it’s nice to see him a bit happier. On a similar note, holy shit you were positive today. You practically danced around the house. 

Teach me your ways,  
Tom.


	13. Thirteen

Dear Thomas,

First of all, this is quite the intriguing format with the letters. I suppose I will follow suite. Second, what are you talking about? Edd did not tell me of his new job. I need to talk to you and Edd. Now.

Regards,  
Tord.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *insert poorly written plot twist here*


	14. Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS ISN’T DEAD I’M SO SORRY-

Dear Commie-

FUCK YOU.

I had to move all of my fucking letters. You don’t just snoop in people’s shit, dipshit!

Also, what did you say to Edd? He’s been quiet as fuck. When I ask him, he says he’s fine. Why were you so freaked out about his job?

KFDJSLKJFLSDKJFKLDJFKLSDJFKLSJFKLSJF,  
Tom.


	15. Fifteen

Dear Thomas,

Despite all the effort, you can not hide things very well. It's quite funny though. What I told Edd ... I do not think you want to know because I would have to fill your lungs with lead.

Have a nice day,  
Tord

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Tord’s letters, I actually do send them through Google Translate a few times, as my friend CakeIsMyHeart guessed. I actually did that with his first letter, but weirdly enough, Translate didn’t fuck up. Wow.


	16. Sixteen

Dear Commie-

YOU ARE AWARE THAT PERSONAL SPACE IS A THING, RIGHT??? Most people don’t MAKE AN EFFORT TO FIND PEOPLE’S STUFF AFTER THEY VERY CLEARLY HIDE THEM.

I’m done with your shit, Tofd.

FFFFFUUUUUUUUU-  
Tom.


	17. Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS WE’RE AT SEVENTEEN CHAPTERS
> 
> Don’t worry, we aren’t close to the plot yet.
> 
> Actually, that’s rather concerning.

Dear Thomas,

First, "Tofd"? Why. That is bad then Commie.

Secondly, I'm sorry, but your dear letters to me are just too fun to give up.

Third, after reading through your previous letters, it's a recurring theme: Where do I go?

Again, lungs. Lead.

Fourth, I apologize for any errors in my letters. I'm using this amazing app, called Google Translate, to review my work. English is a much more confusing language than Norwegian.

Another question: Why did not you personally confront me? I'm sorry if I suspect something, but you seem to be the guy who comes into drunk rage and starts shouting at me.

Oh, and before I forget, please tell me you did not quote with an rage meme when you closed your last letter. I am very disappointed.

Thank you,  
Tord.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd  
> Tofd
> 
>  
> 
> There is actually a backstory to Tofd. CakeIsMyHeart once left me a comment on this story that went like this:
> 
> “Tofd, please.
> 
> TEACH US YOUR WAYS OF HAPPINESS  
> HOW DO YOU DO IT”
> 
> I immediately took note of the misspelling, and yeah now that’s an inside joke. Use Tofd as you please. In Cake’s words:
> 
> “Aww when i read this, I get this extremely lanky tall socially awkward tofd with a baby face (at this point, tofd is not an accident)”


	18. Eighteen

Dear Commie-

Since apparently you won’t stop snooping in my private shit, here:

Tofd  
Tifd  
Tafd  
Toofd  
Tefd  
Tent  
Tend  
Truffle  
Told  
Torm  
Ford  
Butterscotch  
Tyfd  
Todd  
Toop  
Tooodd  
Taffd  
Taffy  
Button masher gamer boi  
Hentai god  
Dad  
Mom  
Commie  
Cummie  
Dick  
Asshole  
Trod  
Topd  
Tofp  
Tilp  
Trigger Happy Havoc  
Tufd  
Towd  
Toq  
Tock  
Tick  
Tiq  
Tori  
Pau  
Pat  
Toilet Paper Demon  
That one guy everyone wants revenge on from a middle school vendetta and/or rejection  
Communist Bastard  
That one idiot  
Toooooooooooord no!!!!!  
Tord yes  
MAstah  
Why tho

 

Noot noot,  
Tom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit to CakeIsMyHeart


	19. Nineteen

Dear Thomas,

While that was certainly amusing, I’d prefer if you were to use ‘Red Leader’.

Tord.


	20. Twenty

Dear Commie-

Red Liter  
Red Lighter  
Read liter  
Highlighter  
Rod leder  
Raw leftover  
Runny eggs  
Eeeek  
Ahhh  
Whhhhhhy  
Fml  
Boss  
Red Tofd  
Red Blanket  
Red Tissue  
RIP Lead Pencil  
Ripped Jeans

Screw you,  
Tom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit to CakeIsMyHeart


	21. Twenty-One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao this gaping plothole was found by Angelcraft1010.
> 
> (The plothole was something along the lines of:  
> Tom: *talks about two separate people who he knows now have something to do with a “red army”*  
> Tord: call me Red Leader  
> Tom: *takes no fucking notice whatsoever* rEED LIGHTER UWU  
> )
> 
> Lol seriously tysm Angel tho

Dear Commie-

Why does Red Leader sound so familiar?

Hmmm, I wonder.

Looking through my previous letters, there seems to be a reoccurring theme: Red.

Your title of ‘Red Leader’ wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain ‘Red Army’, would it?

Actually, that explains a lot.

Like why you were so triggered by Edd being hired by said Red Army.

Interesting,  
Tom.


	22. Twenty-Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhh I’m not dead but I had to re-write this chapter because the doc I had it on got deleted.

Dear Thomas,

Oh. Oh, very nice. I guess all my private matters are exposed to you, right?

To answer your questions, you seem determined to die. However, if you’d like a tiny tidbit of information, I am quite capable of telling you that you are correct.  
It must be shocking for you to see that written; I doubt you will see that too often. Thomas, not a miserable failure? Incredible. I am surprised.

In other words, I have noticed something interesting about your personality - or lack of it.

You pretend to be an idiot.

I must say you had been fooling me for a while. I was a little worried that all my housemates were idiots. But when I read your letters, some new ideas have come up.

You were the only one who really cares about where I am going, you were the only one who noticed my ... other pastime activity, you notice when I'm ‘quiet’ or ‘happy’. And yet, if we follow Edd on their adventures, you make stupid mistakes.

Why?

If you have some information about me, you probably have many questions. I answer one of these questions if you answer one of mine:

Why do you want to pretend you're more of an idiot than you already are?

Thomas, I know you. I don't know why you do the things you do, but I know you anyway. But I just don't understand what decision you made.

Don’t mention this communication method, not even to Edd and Matt. Don't mention it to anyone except Pau Voorde. I don't care if you don't like him. Tell him that the Red Leader has sent you and he will tell you everything you need to know.

Just discuss this in these letters and make sure Edd and Matt do not see the content.

Meet me right in my room. Don't let the others see you.

I'll see you soon  
Tord.


	23. Twenty-Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup here’s a small-ass chapter...I’m working on the next one right now DON’T SUE
> 
> Also, if I were hypothetically going to create an Eddsworld AU featuring Tofd, what would you picture Tofd as?

Thomas, I know you saw the letter. Don’t ignore me.


	24. Twenty-Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something ironic:
> 
> This story has the highest ratio of kudos/comments to hits on my profile.
> 
> This is also the story I’ve spent the least amount of time on.
> 
> It takes about 3 minutes to write a chapter.
> 
> C’mon, guys, my main fic has 30,000 words, a developed plot, etc, and this is more popular?
> 
> What logic is this?
> 
> (Ao3 logic)
> 
> ((I’m not mad at you guys or anything, i just think it’s funny CHILL RANDOM ANON WHO HASN’T COMMENTED AT THE TIME OF POSTING BUT WILL INEVITABLY YELL AT ME IN THE COMMENTS))

Dear Commie-

Yes. Yes I have some questions. No I’m not going to go into the fucking death trap you call a room, not when you have a couple dozen guns in there. Your constant threats involving filling my lungs with lead aren’t going to make me trust you, you know. 

If you want to “talk”, we can talk either in MY ROOM, or in these fucking letters.

...why the fuck am I still writing these letters. This is stupid.

Go fuck yourself,  
At this point i hope you know my name is tom you dipshit


	25. Twenty-Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi

Thomas,

If you would like to abandon formalities, we can. 

Why do you still write these letters? I don’t know either. All I understand is that for some reason you insist on it.

In the end, however, it does not matter; it is a form of communication.

Would you like to ask your questions in these ‘fucking letters’, as you call them?

Also, why would I stop threatening to fill your lungs with lead? It is quite enjoyable, and rather relaxing. You should try it. Maybe then I would not have to drive you to the hospital quite as often.

-Tord

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot ideas are welcome i have literally no idea where I’m going with this


	26. Twenty-Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants to help plan/beta/etc the upcoming Tofd book, comment your email. I’ll add anyone who comments their email into a group email chain to discuss plot ideas and other stuff.

Tord,

You know what?

Fuck you. 

You’re so fucking annoying. 

My question is how the fuck did you become this so-called dumbass “Red Leader”? You’re an idiot and you don’t deserve that title, whatever it means.

Why am I even doing this?

-Tom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read the top notes boi

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again! As always, please leaves kudos and/or a comment if you liked this! Even though the chapters are short, I’ve put a lot of work into this AU, and your feedback would be much appreciated!  
> 


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